Tartan Army

Tilted Kilt Connecticut Polar Bear riders, from left in the back: Princess, Captain, Pogy, Fonz and Jim. Down front is this week's guest blogger Token-squared.

Motorcycle Polar Bear Blog, ride to The Tilted Kilt, Monmouth Junction (or South Brunswick), NJ, December 20, 2015.

Editor's Note by Chris Loynd: Once again The Maritime Aquarium called me to duty, although I've no one to blame but myself. I cooked up this idea of a Pajama Party for "The Polar Express" movie now showing in our IMAX(r) Theater. It was great fun and a great success. We had a gourmet hot chocolate bar with handmade artisan hot chocolate by Chocopologie Cafe and Bistro, a selection of exotic toppings from Village Market in Wilton and selection of fresh bakery cookies from J&L Bakery. We enjoyed sold out theaters both mornings, so our success may cost me twice as many Polar Bear rides next year. My job was to greet visitors as "The Conductor" and I now appear on I don't know how many family albums, Facebook and Instagram posts. So once again I turn to Token2 for a report on Sunday's ride.

Polar Express Pajama Parties featured a gourmet hot chocolate bar and free photos with "The Conductor."

Polar Express conductor with Caitlin, the Aquarium's new events manager and hot chocolate server.

Tartan Army
By: Token2

Full sun made up for a bearish below freezing start to the ride south. Captain led Fonz and Pogy to the Westchester pick-up, where your author took up the lead with Princess settling in the cradle. Jim slotted in on the Cross County Parkway. The ride south turned into a rather scrappy affair as gaps in the formation occurred with frequency. The curse of cruise control; so unforgiving to the imperfections from a real hand on the throttle and the modest speed changes that result. Guzzi doesn’t fit cruise control to their adventure bikes and if they did I suspect it wouldn’t be pretty. Or self-cancelling turn signals for that matter....sorry!

I hanker for the old days of quality group riding but in recent times technology introduced partial group cruising to the CT Bear ride (yes, there is a difference). Perhaps that is just cruise control envy showing up or am I a closet Luddite?

The journey south was uneventful aside from a few crazed cagers, perhaps stressed by the rush to finish Christmas shopping. Our destination was a new addition for the 2105 schedule, the Tilted Kilt in Monmouth Junction.

The Early Departure Policy put us in the destination parking lot at 10.50am, even with a slow 65 mph dawdle down the turnpike. The doors of the restaurant opened at 11am and a table was acquired. As we settled in the unique ambiance became apparent and was enjoyed by most attendees.

As luck would have it, on the very occasion when slow food service would have been somewhat tolerable the Tartan Army of servers proved adept at delivering on the orders while still providing entertainment to the guests. The food was decent with the cleverly named ‘Mother Clucker Chicken Sandwich’ raising a few eyebrows. Captain continued his starvation diet; apparently with colder weather on the way he needs to slim down to permit another layer to be fitted under his riding gear….God forbid he would think about electric heat. Pogy reverted to form and chowed on hi-cal, which was a relief as I was thinking he looked unwell after his salad last week. The food arrived en masse.

As a frequent visitor to Scotland I can with absolute confidence state the Tilted Kilt is a very American take on Scottish hospitality. Oh by the way, for the sake of contrast, in Scotland a Tartan Army has abundant facial hair and is usually found in the vicinity of a soccer or rugby stadium. Anyway, by a majority vote the destination is considered a keeper. Princess may pen a dissenting opinion (but we don’t care). With the Tilted Kilt joining Hooters on the riding roster it only remains for Bob H. to sign up a Twin Peaks to complete a Polar Bear titillating trifecta. Alas, such a thing is unlikely given the nearest Twin Peaks is in North Carolina.

Jim it would seem is coming into a busy season with his theatrical career and will be engaged in performance of ‘A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum’. On further questioning he confirmed that he would be wearing a toga but refused to provide pictures, advising that tickets to the show remain available. We may not see him again for a bit (which maybe a good thing given the toga). Not forgetting of course to wish you a happy birthday James!

The return north commenced at about 12.15pm. Arriving at the top by 1.40pm we stopped for refreshment and further banter, except for Pogy who rolled on to Norwalk to attend to some personal business. Would it be wrong to suggest that the time he gained by splitting off the group allowed him to brief his S.O. on the events of the day before pictures were posted online? Yes, you are right, it would be wrong.

Princess bought the Dunkin beverages and treated us again to cookies, this time they travelled a shorter distance to our table and arrived in full protective package. She would like Paul to return to the group to relieve her of newbie bear teasing status. No such luck NYDIVA, not today anyway.

The group splintered again with Joanne and Jim heading off for a birthday celebration dinner in NY and the CT contingent made their way east.

So on the last full day of Fall another ride is in the books. The days will start getting longer for our next ride …OK, just a little bit, but it is a start. Happy Christmas.

Token 2 finds his happy place.

Fonz finds his happy place.

Yup, Pogy in a happy place.

Bob in his happy place.

Not sure what happened to the Captain. He was probably thinking about Fox News.

Vineland, NJ, January 8, 2012 Polar Bear Motorcycles Blog

Vineland, NJ, January 8, 2012

Polar Bear Motorcycles Blog

By: Chris Loynd

Vineland is a pretty long way to go for a ride to nowhere. And after a two week hiatus (the past two Sundays falling on Christmas and New Years) my back was not used to doing such miles. I was ready to get off the bike when I got home.

Fortunately the riding was easy. Anything not expressway was through some scenic towns, the Pinelands and farms. By the way, didn't it used to be called the Pine Barrens? I guess the government switched to a nicer sounding name.

We are back to North Carolina winter weather. Temperatures climbed above 50 in South Jersey. They were a bit colder for our ride start up in Connecticut, but not at all bearish. We had a long distance to ride, so we started at 8 a.m. The sun was just up. Still, it was in the high 40s for most of our miles.

A note of caution sounds in my psyche. It is a deep, far-off, disturbingly familiar tolling.

I hinted at it with my fellow Bears on Sunday. While I could not clearly recollect the time or even season, I recall a warm Polar Bear winter some time ago. I mocked Mother Nature in the blog, suggesting she had forgotten winter. And the very next week she slapped us hard with snow and subzero temperatures.

There's no making that mistake again. Let me just say we are respectfully grateful for the warm and dry weekends.

One of my Facebook friends who is also a rider, Art, took credit for the warmth. He asserts that if he had not winterized his Harley, tucking it into the back of the garage, turning on the battery tender and turning off the insurance, we all would be knee-deep in snow right now.

Connecticut experienced a 55 degree day Saturday. That brought out droves of motorcycles and even a few convertible cars. I was out front of my house doing a bit of “fall” gardening when my neighbor came home. Seeing me there with the leaf rake he called over, “Aren't you supposed to be shoveling snow about now?”

Grumpy led us over the interstates and parkways to the turnpike. He graciously allowed for a bathroom break. The others scoffed at me, but I grabbed the opportunity to top off my gas tank despite their scorn. Fonz caved too, once I took the hit, and stopped at the pumps while the other riders waited patiently. I hate riding with that fuel light winking at me. And true to form, later in the day Grumpy ran the other bikes down so close to empty that Mac broke formation and came up to insist on a gas stop. I just smiled and topped off again.

Fonz repaid the favor of me supporting his early gas fill when we got to our destination. We arrived just after 11:30 and the parking lot was already full. Grumpy pulled into a spot that would maybe fit just one more bike, but where he'd have to back out on gravel.

His wing man, I decided the gravel lot was plenty wide for a center row of bikes and so started one. Pogy and Token2 blew right by me and ended up parked helter-skelter at the driveway's mouth. Mac, well, I'm not sure what he was thinking. He just sort of found a spot and nearly blocked in some blockhead who was parked perpendicular to all the other bikes. (Maybe Mac was making a statement.) I was signaling to my fellow on-coming riders with a back and forth swish of my arm. Fonz was first to pick up on it and pulled in next to me. Captain came in too on the other side of me. And behind him was another group of bikes and soon our new row was firmly established.

The line held. As we came out of lunch it was stronger and thicker, with a double-up row forming farther down where the parking lot widened. Those of us on the line simply pulled out of the gravel lot with no foot paddling.

Fonzie did not endear himself to all our riders this day. On the way down he had what he himself described as a “momentary lapse in concentration.” It was in an area where the DOT workers had placed cautionary cones right on the edge of the highway travel lane, right on the fog line. Fonz clipped one.

He quickly corrected. But Pogy following behind had fewer options. The cone caught his highway peg and snapped it off like a twig. Highway pegs on a Goldwing stick out pretty far. And they appear to be made of some sort of cast metal; it looks like aluminum but breaks like porcelain.

Pogy was fine. And as he lamented, you can't buy just one peg. So I guess he'll replace the broken one and then have a spare. If he's like me, he'll put that spare in a special place. And when he finally, years from now, breaks another highway peg, he will have no idea where that replacement peg might reside. But then again, Pogy is likely more organized than I.

The Japanese continued to have troubles this ride. Captain had replaced his one Goldwing antenna after it broke off on an earlier run. Over this week's ride the new antenna drooped like it was made of play dough. He's headed back to the dealership too. Maybe Captain and Pogy – both now retired – can make a day of it!

Token2 even had trouble with his ST. Something not right in the harness for his electrics left him adding layers and stuffing chemical heat packs into his gloves and boots. Pogy even lent him a sweatshirt.

At sign-in I offered my thanks to Rich and Dave. They do so much as our Flight B leaders. Dave even came all the way up to Connecticut one year to attend our winter dinner.

With more Polar Bear rockers and pins on their vests than you can count, they have decided it would be fair to have someone else pick up the paperwork going forward. Thank you both for all you do and your perpetual good humor. These are some big shoes to fill.

Five Points Inn proffered a fine brunch buffet for a very fair $10. Pogy picked up the tab for us all. He retired this week and I guess he was feeling generous. Thanks!

Pogy has plenty of life left in him, by the way. His retirement was one of those take the early package or else deals. So if any blog readers know of a position open for a technically adept senior customer service or sales director with international experience and a work ethic that will scare the bejesus out of his fellow workers, send me an e-mail and I'll pass it along.

It's true that like Forrest Gump's chocolates, you never do know what you're going to get. As John Lennon said, “Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.”

I don't know where this economy will take us. It's hard for guys like Mac and Pogy to give a whole life to a company only to be offered an “early retirement package” backed by a layoff threat.

I don't know if the Polar Bear Club will survive a change of leadership. Bob is asking for a replacement, now Rich and Dave too.

Ah, but what future is ever certain? This is the year the Mayans say it all ends, 12/26/2012. So be sure to get out and ride as much as you can. Me, I still plan to go on a Polar Bear ride 12/30/2012, if the Grand Tour folks will have me.

Happy New Year!

Polar Bear Blog Sugar Loaf, N.Y. Nov. 20

By: Chris Loynd

When I saw Polar Bear Grand Poohbah Bob Hartpence in very nearby Sugar Loaf' N.Y., he joked that maybe this ride wasn't even worth the Connecticut bears getting out of bed. I told him we were experiencing Polar Bearing as our New Jersey brethren do.

This Sunday's destination was so close we only earned a single mileage point. Heck, we usually achieve one point just getting out of state.

A few of our members flirted, albeit briefly, with a point stretch. We even racked up a few extra miles thanks to a closed road around which Token, our ride leader, had to detour.

Grumpy and Mac, start deeper in Connecticut than most of us. Those two did pick up the extra point. But we dissuaded the others with peer pressure. Most of us accurately recorded between 160 and 180 roundtrip miles.

Token lives close to this Sunday's destination and so promised us a scenic ride. He led us over parkways and through state parks. The afore mentioned closed road caused him a bit of consternation, most dramatically represented with not one but two circuits of a traffic roundabout.

Slavish following of his GPS also caused him to head back into town after a Dolly-mandated early gas stop. We dutifully followed Token through every U-turn.

The only time in the ride where we did break formation on Sunday was in the Barn Sider Tavern parking lot. Even though we arrived before 11:30 sign-in, the lot was already full. Token threaded his way back around to the street and found a good spot we could all share. Being his wingman, I was right there with him. But when we went to back our bikes into our spots we discovered only Token and I remained.

The rest of our guys decided to block in some other bikes in the parking lot. The bike-bound riders soon saw the Connecticut plates and coming into the restaurant went straight to the Captain. It's the hat, John. The offenders went back outside to move their bikes, releasing the other riders.

To his credit, Token did find plenty of twisties for us to ride. His was a welcome respite from our typical Interstate expressway dominated Polar Bear motorcycling.

Unfortunately the distances we typically travel, and the Captain's flag, generally mandate faster and more direct routes than the luxury we rode Sunday.

The Captain has a new American flag flying on a pole at his house and was very concerned about striking his colors before sunset. A light fixture is on order and hopefully arrives and is installed before Montgomeryville. There's no way we get back from there before sundown.

Our Connecticut Polar Bear ranks continue to swell. We picked up two new riders on this trip.

Dolly is Fonz's wife. Not exactly new to the Polar Bears, she rode with us as a passenger last year on the back of Fonz's Harley. Sunday she was at the helm of her Honda Shadow.

Fonz had bought Dolly one of this season's spiffy new red Polar Bear Grand Tour shirts. But he said she could not wear it until she actually rode with the Bears.

Fortunately Sunday's ride was not at all bearish. With our shortest distance of the season and temperatures nearing 60, it was a perfect ride for cubs.

I think Dolly found it to be quite enough. At our end of day coffee stop Dolly asked me, "What does it mean when you start seeing things?"

"Seeing what?" I asked.

"You know, like two roads," she replied.

"I think it means you drop out of the group," I said. Geeze, she rode behind me most of the day. I kept a keen eye on my rearview mirrors the rest of the ride.

Bill also joined us Sunday. He has a New Jersey Polar Bear friend but lives in Ridgefield. Perusing the Polar Bear Grand Tour site, www.PolarBearGrandTour.com, Bill found the Connecticut contingent's blog on the Grand Tour's "Members' Homepages" page and contacted me.

We liked Bill almost immediately, well right after lunch for sure. Bill picked up the whole lunch tab, for all of us! I sought him out later and assured him there are no initiation rites, nor secret conclave votes, to be a member of the Connecticut Bears. You pretty much need only to show up on a motorcycle. Buying lunch for everyone is certainly not a requirement.

Oh, if you desire the coveted Connecticut patch, you must firsf earn the Grand Tour patch. But so far we have rejected no one from just tagging along on our rides.

There is also the Connecticut Polar Bear pledge. And I forgot to administer it to Dolly or Bill. It's very simple, raise your right hand and repeat after me, "I am responsible for my own safety."

That's it!

Sort of like parachuting, the real challenge is not in getting someone to join us for the first ride; we won't really know if Dolly or Bill likes us until she or he show up for a second ride.

Meanwhile Dolly and Bill are immortalized in the Polar Bear Motorcycle Blog. And not everyone can say that.