Restaurants Never Believe Us

Connecticut Bears in Hamilton, NJ, from left: Grumpy, Captain, Mac, Anonymous Ed, CT Blogger with Pogy down front as always.

Polar Bear Motorcycle Blog, Polar Bear Grand Tour, ride to Hamilton Tap and Grill, Hamilton, NJ, December 23, 2018

By: Chris Loynd
Photos By: Grumpy and Grand Tour Photographer Bernie Walsh

Sunday's weather was perfect for polar bearing on motorcycles. The sun was bright. The temperature was cool enough to accommodate our layers of riding gear but not so cold as to over challenge them.

Maybe because of Christmas pending, traffic was delightfully light, especially on the morning ride. Just a day before, Cynthia and I traveled to visit my daughter and her husband in Norwalk. Midday I-95 was solid with cars both ways. The 17 mile trek took nearly an hour. Sunday the same ride was done in 20 minutes.

Feeling frisky, I took the lead. On the ST 1100 now, the Harley garaged until snow melt chemicals are completely washed away, I was more confident in my speed. The four-cylinder Honda can exceed the Turnpike 65 mph speed limit without breaking a sweat, or 4,000 rpm. So we enjoyed an active pace; my compatriots made their approval known at lunch.

Over the years, the character of our polar bear rides have changed as our riders have. This is my 16th season of winter rides. At the beginning I rode alone. I generally started out later in the morning, letting the sun warm things up a bit first. Polar Bear Grand Tour sign in was then, and is now, 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. In those early days I even miscalculated one Sunday and arrived too late to sign in. I enjoyed the ride all the same.

But as our winter Sunday motorcycle rides attracted others from Connecticut, the character of the group changed. It's pretty much a democracy, and the will of the group was to arrive right at 11:30 a.m. sign in. Some of our guys are not as comfortable riding back in the dark.

Several years ago, especially for the longer distance rides, I created the EDP, Early Departure Protocol. Bending even more to the wishes of the group, we started our rides early enough to get to our destination and eat lunch/brunch and be ready to ride home before sign-in even opened. There is growing enthusiasm among our riders for EDP.

I did not take a formal poll, but I think most of our riders would prefer EDP on every ride.

Fonz and his crew have taken to finding nearby diners where they breakfast and then ride on to the destination for sign in and an early start home.

One distinct advantage for EDP is that many of the destination restaurants are not equipped or overwhelmed by the Polar Bear influx of customers. Some destinations we've just written off as being too slow. Others, there can be a wait for a table if you get there too late. And no matter the destination location, we always have a long ride home.

Admittedly, the plan worked well on this ride. It was a first time destination. Somehow the restaurant managers never believe our Grand Tour Ride Coordinators when they tell them to expect 150 or more riders on a winter Sunday morning. Hamilton Tap & Grill was no different.

While the Connecticut Bears were not the very first to arrive (we were maybe the third group), we were the first to sit at a table and order our food. The manager came over to get us started on drinks. The one and only waitress strolled in 10 minutes after the 11:00 brunch was advertised to start.

As the restaurant quickly filled with bears, we were happy to have ordered already. Surely service slowed dramatically. The waitress, now up to speed, was hustling between tables non-stop. She never got back to us to refill our coffees. Grumpy's waffles arrived without their promised fruit and by the time she got back to us, the only remedy was to offer to take them off our bill. We declined. We also tipped our usual 20%. It wasn't really her fault and we could see she was overwhelmed.

In my Facebook review the management responded saying they were told to expect only 21 people. I'm not sure what miscommunication occurred. But the Grand Tour has two volunteer ride coordinators who find the restaurants, coordinate with them, even remind them the week before that we're coming.

Except for the service, and missing fruit, the food was quite good. Many of the brunch offerings were embellished with pork roll. Some of our Connecticut bears were unfamiliar with this New Jersey delicacy. We hope they stay on the Polar Bear schedule and look forward to seeing them next year.

One other popular blog topic is to rip on the ride leader and other riders. Our leader this ride kept running out of road. On the local road to Hamilton Grill, stopped at a stoplight, Captain suggested we gas up the bikes before lunch. So I moved our group to the far right lane. Only at the very next light the sign ahead said my lane was about to disappear. When the light changed, I awkwardly moved the group a lane left and we were on our way.

My next mistake was a bit more complex to fix. It turns out The Hamilton Tap & Grill is like the Isle de Morte, a place that can only be found by those who already know where it is. New Jersey and its convoluted ideas about making left turns didn't make it any easier. My GPS got us turned around but only by way of a series of turns and jaunt through downtown.

On the way back I made the same disappearing right turn lane mistake. Signs ahead promised the NJ Turnpike, but the right lane I chose evaporated before we could get there. After a messy merge into too many cars, we made it to I-195 and then the NJ Turnpike.

There was a bit more traffic on the way home. The Oranges always clog up the Garden State Parkway. We made a stop at the top but had some miscommunication still. Anonymous Ed skipped the stop all together. Most of the rest of the guys wanted a quick pee and resume, following the EDP precepts.

I noticed Grumpy was setting up a table next to the Dunkin'. I miss our breaks; we've been skipping them on a regular basis. So I got a cup of coffee and Grumpy and I enjoyed a bit of conversation. Meanwhile the rest of the guys were waiting for us out in the parking lot. They eventually left without us. Sorry guys.

Connecticut arrives. Chris Loynd, CT Blogger, in the lead on the Honda ST 1100. 

CT crew one of the first to arrive.

My lunch was tasty. The menu made it sound bigger than it arrived.

Polar Bear Grand Tour Photographer Bernie Walsh took our group photo this week. He's faster than a tripod!

Grumpy and Chris took time for a stop at the top beverage, but forgot to tell the rest of our crew.

Thanksgiving Leftover Traffic

Hillbilly Hall Connecticut Polar Bears, from left: Jim, Mac, Anonymous Ed, Captain, CT Blogger, Grumpy and Token2.

Motorcycle Polar Bear Blog, Polar Bear Grand Tour, ride to Hopewell, NJ, November 27, 2016

By: Chris Loynd, a.k.a. CT Blogger

My winter motorcycle compadres often remark on the crazy nature of our Sunday jaunts to nowhere New Jersey. Most riders put their bikes away for the winter: filled with fresh oil and Stabil-laced gasoline, tires on plywood bases, nourished by a steady drip of electrons from a low voltage battery tender.

We choose instead to plunge into Thanksgiving weekend traffic and other dubious adventures.

Temperatures were just over the freezing mark in the morning Sunday, but climbed to the upper forties for the ride home. It was just cool enough for me to wear my full electric suit. For years I polar beared with just an electric jacket and gloves. I'm glad to now also have electric pants and socks. All wired together and thermostatically controlled, the warmth makes for a wonderful sensation.

Why ride in winter?

For me it is a combination of positive joys. Prime among these is riding my motorcycle. I enjoy that so much, I was loathe to give it up all winter long. Then there is certainly the camaraderie. There is something special about having your friends bust your balls once and a while to keep perspective on life. It's also fun to get a few whacks in yourself, be honest! Then in some weird way, there's also the organization. Riding in the Polar Bear Grand Tour, instead of just doing a pick up ride now and then, adds purpose. You sign in, log your miles and earn patches and pins. In software circles they call it "gamification." Even if it is a silly sense of achievement, it is an achievement all the same.

I also enjoy riding well with others. Keeping a tight formation, good organization, managing traffic as we navigate our group of motorcycles down the road is a pleasure in itself. We rode quite well this past Sunday.

Captain, who is always willing to step up and lead a ride, also encourages full participation. Two Sundays ago he started in on Ed.  Captain thought it was about time Ed took a turn at the front of the pack and told him so. Ed joined us last year, is a good rider, and has quickly become a regular Connecticut Polar Bear.

So last Sunday, Captain pretty much tells Ed it is his turn to lead. Ed apparently did not take Captain seriously the week before. "I'm not ready," he said, "I mean, I don't know where we're going."

"How did you expect to get there?" Captain asked. "Just follow you guys," Ed answered.

But Ed did not falter. He ran out to his bike, powered up the GPS, found our destination and took the lead.

We all agreed he did a great job. He set his cruise control and kept a steady pace. Mac was his wing man and I've never seen Mac ride so tight. Usually he rubber bands and wavers side-to-side in his lane. Not last Sunday. Especially on the ride over where traffic was lighter, Mac was right in place behind Ed. We found out at lunch that Mac also has cruise control and liked the predictable pace.

Grumpy was a little loose in formation this last ride. He was third bike of seven. I was behind him. Grumpy opened up a pretty big gap now and again. I pressed up closer on Grumpy's flank, goading him back into place. My machinations had minimal effect. Grumpy leads a lot of rides. And if you fall back far enough in the pack, you become the defacto leader. I'm not sure what was on Grumpy's mind.

Ed noticed, as did most of us. And when Ed teased Grumpy about it at lunch, he found out Grumpy's nickname is earned, not given.

New guy Jim is looking to become a regular. He rode with us to Cape May, then joined us on this ride. He's signed up, a new Flight B Bear. Jim mentioned at lunch that he was out in North Dakota this past week. "What's in North Dakota that entices you there in winter," we asked. Turns out he was there protesting the oil pipeline. I think Jim will add an interesting element to our political spectrum.

One thing we all agree upon is the fun of riding motorcycles in winter. Well, at least I think we do. You can comment below why you are, or are not, riding with us from Connecticut to have lunch in neighboring states from October to April.

On the way home, we knew we were in for Thanksgiving traffic. An early start Sunday morning got us back on the highway midday. My GPS initially predicted I'd be home by 3:00 p.m. We speculated that we would be out ahead of the worst of the traffic. We were right, right up to the Connecticut border.

Even the Tappan Zee approach was not much worse than any given Sunday. But as soon as we exited I-287 we got slammed as only Connecticut can do. Half the group took for the Merritt Parkway. Ed likes I-95, so does Captain. Sandwiched between them I figured it was "six of one, half a dozen of t'other" and stayed with them. As we got to the end of I-287 the traffic came to a dead stop. Looking over the bridge to our right, we could see the same condition on I-95 approaching us for as far as we could see.

"Merritt?" Ed asked, as I pulled up next to him. "I don't know," I replied, "Maybe it will break up after Stamford." "Not that," Ed said with a nod over the south side of the bridge. "It's your call," I said, "I'll follow you." Ed decided to turn around and head back up 287 for the Merritt. We let Captain know, and the three of us were off.

Mostly the Merritt was moving. But traffic ground to a halt at each and every on-ramp. It was like trying to stuff just one more bite of turkey down your overfilled gullet. The parkway was not entirely stop-and-go. Here and there we clipped along. But of the extra hour-and-a-half it took us to get home, a full hour or more was claimed entirely by Connecticut traffic.

Remind me again, why do ride these rides in winter, on a holiday weekend?

Token2 and new guy Jim.

Ed prefers to remain anonymous, at least in showing his face.

Phone check upon arrival.

Hillbilly Hall between seasons in its decor.

How does Captain always manage to attract liberals?

Lunch, around the table from left: Captain, Token2, Grumpy with camera, Anonymous Ed and Mac.

Bob photo of the week.

Flight A leaders.

Flight B leaders.

See you next week!

Perfect Penultimate

Easton Bears, from left: CT Blogger, Grumpy, Fonz, Pogy, QEd, Captain, Princess, Mac and unknown.

Polar Bear Motorcycles Blog, ride to Cheeburger Cheeburger, Easton, Pa., April 10, 2016.

By: Chris Loynd

Our next-to-last ride of the 2015/16 season enjoyed Goldilocks Polar Bear riding weather. A not too chilly morning eased into a not too warm afternoon. At some point in the day I employed the full range of thermostat for my gloves, but only half so for jacket, pants and booties. Sun shined. Traffic was light.

Our confident and experienced ride leader kept a silky, sapient and steadfast pace. Our irascible sweep suffered no tailgater gladly and cleared lanes with alacrity. We enjoyed a few moments of drama, including my rather close encounter as a car rabbiting out of the tolls brushed aside my claim of right-of-way, despite the fact I was well ahead and indicating. You can never win a car versus motorcycle battle so I begrudgingly gave way with an astute throttle roll-off maneuver. "You were so calm, I didn't know if you didn't see the car or just had nerves of steel," commented Captain, my second rider, when we parked in Easton.

Somehow I missed exit 14 to I-78 west. It happens just as the NJ Turnpike splits into the truck and car parallels. Guess I missed the sign. My GPS gladly routed me off at exit 13. It was an effective, hectic, fusillade of exit ramps in rapid succession. Several of our riders commented on my exit 13 route. Token2 was representative, "I've never gone that way before. Let's never do it again."

Our destination was just right too. A tiny bit over 150 miles and a little under two hours. A bit less expressway would have been nice. But expressway riding is best in winter when conditions are unpredictable and ice threatens.

Easton, Pa. is delightfully quaint. Word around our lunch table postulated the owner of Cheeburger Cheeburger is politically connected. Easton gave us the street for a whole block in front of the restaurant, Easton's best manning roadblocks just for us.

The owner, big Frank Aversa, is also a biker. He knows what motorcyclists desire: bikes-only parking, great food and a raucous atmosphere. When "Sweet Caroline" came on the sound system, Frank loudly led us all in the chorus. The room roared, "Sweet Car-o-line, da, da, daah, good times never seemed so good, da, da, dum."

Most of us took advantage of the all American fare: burgers with your choice of tasty toppings, fries, onion rings, milkshakes, sodas. One of our group, who will remain nameless, went off the rails when she ordered a salmon burger.

We talked about motorcycles and riding. Mac captured Princess' undivided attention (no small feat) with two magic words: Hoka Hey. She took Fonz's seat and they started planning the next ride right there and then. Fonz suggested maybe there could be an organized ride like Hoka Hey, but with no time limits. You'd just go around and enjoy the scenery. Fonz shared that riding sleep deprived is the equivalent of a 0.05 alcohol buzz.

One of our newest riders, Ed, was more ebullient than usual. I think he's getting the measure of our group. Due to a family obligation, this was also his last Polar Bear ride of the season. Maybe he wanted us to remember him fondly to ensure an invitation next year. Heck, he even bought coffee and hot chocolates at Chez GSP. Yet Ed never partakes.

Token2 named him QEd for Quiet Ed. Of course Token2 is educated enough to be making a pun. QED also is used to show you proved your point in an argument, quod erat demonstrandum. Urban Dictionary defines it as, "A mathematician's way of saying, 'I win.'" Its usage is more favored in British English. Hmmmm.

You can't see Ed in our group picture. He stoically assents to the weekly group photo at the top of every Polar Bear Motorcycles Blog ride post. He cleverly positions himself to be included but not seen. I didn't catch on until I caught up this blog after a period of neglect and thereby had occasion to view the group photos in an hour's time, as opposed to weekly.

He also fights off Princess' efforts to selfie with him. She does that to everybody. This week she selfied with another woman rider just because she had the same Harley heated jacket liner.

The photo's not mandatory, Ed. You're a good rider and fun companion and neither of those are required to ride with us anyway. Just look around at some of the characters in our group! We hope to see you next year.

First there is one ride more: far away Cape May. Right now the weather forecast is for rain. I never believe the long range forecast unless it is good. We'll ride whatever the weather. We'll be at the shore where a salmon burger is perhaps acceptable fare.

Fonz signs up for next season . . .

. . . and earned his gold rocker.

Matching jackets selfie.

Figuring the bill.

Never one of those bill checker pens around when you need one.

Dueling Photographers.

QEd bought a round of coffees and hot chocolates and an espresso for our one classy rider.