Polar Bear Motorcycles: Crazy Cold

Wayne Bears, from left: Captain, CT Blogger, Pogy, Princess, Ed, Token2.
It was so cold, we took the group photo inside.

Motorcycle Polar Bear Blog, ride to Hooters, Wayne, NJ, February 14, 2016.

By Chris Loynd:

Oh yes we did! Temperature was minus five degrees Fahrenheit when I started out Sunday. It warmed to positive eight when I returned home.

My 19-year-old, 1997, Honda ST1100 is carbureted with a choke. It sits in an unheated garage. It can be a challenge to start on a regular cold day.

I went into the garage early Sunday morning. As close as I could position it next to the parked bike, without actually touching the plastic, I placed an oil-filled electric heater turned up as high as it allows. Directly underneath the bike I positioned a 100 watt light bulb. Over top it all I jury-rigged a blanket to try and concentrate the heat.

My garage is thin walled, only wooden siding on studs. There are lots of cracks and an old fashioned, open copula sits atop the roof. The wind was blowing. There was no way I was going to warm up the garage. My hope was to soften the bike's oil just enough to get it started so internal combustion could do the rest.

When it was time to go, the bike started but would not run. I have a fairly new battery, and it on a trickle charger. So I cranked it and rested, cranked and rested. On the fourth try the old girl decided I was serious about riding. She stumbled for a bit but then settled into her choke-induced fast idle. White smoke poured out of the twin exhausts. I waited, and waited, and waited for the temperature gauge to move off of dead cold.

Just as I was ready to go, I gave my wife Cynthia a quick kiss and then she went and gave voice to my deepest, unsaid fear, "You'll be warm unless you break down." Dang! I hope she didn't jinx me. Fortunately I give no sway to superstition.

What she said is true, all the same. My comfort was solely dependent upon copious amounts of electricity, funneled through a thermostat and interspersed through micro wires embedded in my specialized clothing. If the engine does not run, the alternator does not turn, and I get very cold very fast.

Fortunately, Ishiro Honda knew his stuff and his successors build a quality product. Once the bike warmed it ran just fine. She started right up at Hooters for the ride home. There were a few temperature related effects. Secondary lubricants were challenged by the cold. I had cruise control! The throttle would simply stick in whatever position I left it. Oh, it was easy enough to twist it off and on, no worries. But it didn't snap back when I let go.

My turn signals were similarly challenged. To cancel I have to push the button in. It did not want to go. I ended up re-centering the switch instead. Minor complaints, really.

As my motorcycle and its oversize alternator pumped electrons into my clothing, I can't say enough about my Warm & Safe heated clothes. This is the first year, in 14 years of riding Polar Bear, that I've splurged on the whole set. My electric jacket, pants and socks pumped out enough heat that I never cranked the thermostat to full power. I tried. I was afraid of burning the tops of my feet.

My heated gloves were not up to the challenge on their own. I kept flexing my fingers to get the warmer blood from other parts of my body to circulate through them. I tightened and relaxed my thigh and stomach muscles and it helped enough to get me to the destination. For the ride home I put on my hippo hands and now protected from the wind my hands were more than warm enough.

When we arrived at Hooters there was frost on the inside of my face shield and ice clumps in my mustache.

Princess was so cold, she just parked her bike diagonally across a couple of spaces. She was too cold to paddle walk it into any better a configuration. She headed inside still layered to the max. Shoot, we thought she was going to eat lunch still wearing her helmet. Princess was walking around Hooters in her layers, jacket still zipped full up, helmet still on, a dramatic contrast to the waitresses running around in tank tops and short shorts.

When she finally warmed a bit, she took off her full face helmet, donned her tiara and surprised us all with a Valentine's gift.

Princess rode with an electric jacket and lots of layers. Captain still toughs it out with no electric clothes. However his Goldwing has heated grips and a heated seat. Ed's Harley has heated grips and he said they made enough difference in supplementing his heated gloves. I may have to consider an upgrade.

Token2 met us as we pulled into the Hooters parking lot. This destination is about equidistant from his home to the Hutch bus stop where he usually joins us en route. He rode back with us.

We rode back as we usually do up the Garden State Parkway and over the Tappan Zee Bridge. We decided not to stop at the top for a coffee. For me, the idea of taking off all those layers wasn't worth taking a break on such a short ride. Atypically, we stayed down on I-95 in Connecticut instead of the Merritt Parkway. We hoped to catch a degree or two of warmth from Long Island Sound.