Polar Bear Motorcycles: Not Thankful for Traffic

Collegeville Connecticut Bears, from left: Mac, Fonz, Captain and Princess, back row; Chris & Pogy down front.

Motorcycle Polar Bear Blog, ride to Appalachian Brewing Co., Collegeville, Penn., November 29, 2015.

By: Chris Loynd

Well I knew we would hit post Thanksgiving Day holiday traffic. I even contemplated skipping the ride today because of it. But how often do you get to witness a coronation?

Once again I invoked our early departure program (EDP). I had several reasons. One, it's a long ride for us. Two, I recall slow service at our destination restaurant. And three, I knew we'd hit holiday traffic.

An 8:00 a.m. start isn't all that early, Google Maps said it would get us to our destination in three hours. When I spooled up the GPS, it predicted an arrival time of 10:45. I was worried my Connecticut Bears would be miffed at such an early arrival. But then I figured a stop along the way would easily eat up 15 or 20 minutes. So we're good. Right?

As I got ready for my artificially early start time, time got away from me. A few fits and starts and the next thing I know it's perilously close to 8:00 a.m. I know my guys wait for no one. So I pulled out Plan B. I jumped onto the interstate, rode one exit south and got off again to intercept my guys en route. It worked.

Sitting at the stop light, signaling a left turn down to the Dunkin' Donuts, I saw Fonz and Mac riding toward the Interstate, Fonz in the lead. I changed my signal from left to right and fell in as sweep. Behind me I noticed Captain in his car. Unfortunately, because I was late I missed any conversation at the Dunkin'. So I had no idea what was up with the Captain.

There was nothing to do for it but ride.

We saw Pogy off his bike as we rode by the Darien rest stop. Usually he's mounted with the engine running. So we rode slowly, deep into Stamford, before Pogy finally appeared on his Wing.

Any thoughts I had of letting him sweep instead of me were quickly dispelled as he powered past me and pulled in behind Mac.

Johanna was ready for us at the bus stop. With a green light brightly shining at the intersection, we barely offered her a downshift as rode by and entered the Hutchinson Parkway. Looks like she got a new helmet. Johanna usually favors a half helmet. This was a full face with serious bling, enough bling that I could see it at 60 plus miles per hour.

Still sweeping, I kept a weather eye for Jim. Two weeks ago, he was waiting for us on the shoulder of one of the parkways headed to the GW Bridge. Where was it? Before the Cross County? After? He never showed. At lunch we learned from Johanna that Jim lost a good friend of his. Our deepest sympathies, Jim.

Fonz led a good ride, right up to the part where he had to find our actual destination. He kept a steady speed on the turnpikes, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Mac credits his smoothness with his own tight riding this week.

You see everything sitting at the back of the pack. And this Sunday we looked really good.

Fonz threw us a few challenges, taking I-87 instead of the Saw Mill Parkway, the GW lower level instead of the upper, local lanes to the turnpike instead of express. We held formation through it all, even an aggressive idiot who tried every way she could to cut us off, cut in, cut back, cut up. Thankfully, she finally found her way to the left lane and we bobbed in her wake, intact.

Captain did not have as much luck. As we tooled along in the local lanes, I saw him come up even with us -- in the express lanes. I waved and he caught up eventually.

Fonz rode steady, true and without stops. Worries about arriving way too early crept back into my consciousness.

But as we got to our exit from the Pennsylvania Turnpike, he choked. It is admittedly confusing. There are three choices: I-476 north or south or Exit 333. We wanted that 333, but it came last. Fonz headed off for 476, faked south, cut over north. We stuck with him like glue, me dodging back and forth trying to clear which ever lane Fonz wanted.

We recovered just fine. Our only penalty was some stop-and-go riding through downtown Norristown, Penn. An added bonus: we ate up a bit of that too early arrival time I was worried about.

We lost Captain once again in the stop lights. As it turned out in the end, he arrived at our destination well before we did. That's because Fonz refused to turn onto Third Avenue, or Fourth, or Fifth. At an opportune stop light Pogy and I rode up and convinced Fonz to finally turn LEFT! But then he wanted to head away from our destination at the next stop sign. I moved up and offered my services. Our destination was just a few hundred yards down the street to the LEFT! Fortunately, Fonz followed my lead and we finally parked.

Captain took advantage of his earlier than us arrival and grabbed a table and some coffees. We got our order in by 11:00 a.m., then waited 45 minutes for our food to arrive.

It was delicious, if slow. Princess may have caused the delay by ordering something not on the voluminous menu: a BLT.

We motored home and really didn't hit much traffic until we hit the Tappan Zee. The approach from the GW Parkway was stop and go. And it was a few miles of clutch-in, clutch-out to get over the bridge and through the tolls. But then we cruised I-287.

Our home state of Connecticut delivered the real traffic penalty. It was horrible traffic, and an extra half-hour, double what it should have taken, to get up the Merritt Parkway. Stop-and-go, extreme rubber banding, crazy tailgaters, we got the full treatment.